i was going to block out the names/take the rest out of context, but, well, it was posted publicly so there you go. this comment is infuriating.
it’s really hard to respond to this. it wasn’t said to me, and i’m not going to respond to it in the context of it being said to mary ( Mary is on top of her own wall ), but i do feel like i want to respond from the standpoint of being bipolar myself and possibly my biggest struggle on a personal level this last year having to do with sexuality.
i hope that most of you can see that this is an insanely problematic and mean comment for a variety of reasons - but past that, it DOES bluntly state a viewpoint that is prevalent in society, both for people who are non-neurotypical AND for people who are up front about enjoying sex outside of regular norms.
Bipolar? “Hypersexuality” is a symptom.
Gay? Used to be considered a mental condition.
Having trouble with monogamy? You must have serious issues to be ‘solved.’
I feel like there’s a lot of ‘obvious’ bullshit here, so i’m trying to look at this from another perspective.
If you’re already outside the ‘norm’ in how you think, feel, relate to people and understand your own thoughts (as people who deal with things like bipolar kind of are) then it’s probably easier to question other things about society as well. If I will never be able to live as a ‘normal’ person for [this and that reason] then why do i have to accept that ‘normal’ people do [this and that arbitrary thing] or have [this and that arbitrary moral standpoint].
Some people have said similar stuff about being queer - how more queer people reject monogamy as a model, possibly just because the standard narratives of romance and interpersonal relationships (as well as the ‘point’ of sex) don’t fit with what comes naturally to them - if society already says i shouldn’t be with a man, is it that different to be with two men? how ‘wrong’ am i? can i be ‘double’ damned to hell?
Probably someone could be ‘even worse’ in the eyes of people who judge them, but if someone is a hater already, once they’ve said they hate you then maybe they’ve opened up a space for you to figure things out on your own - they’ve already proven their opinion can’t be something that fits into your worldview.
So if they’re going to judge me for being queer, assume things about the way my brain functions according to a diagnosis, and decide they know better about how I function (while proving that they know literally nothing about what actually makes me feel comfortable to be myself) then I might as well build a model based around the people who are comfortable with me and what they are comfortable with doing.
Mental illness isn’t the ‘cause’ of being a slut, but i bet there is higher rates of it in people who reject monogamy because they are already being rejected by society or having trouble fitting in to preloaded narratives.
tldr: having a shift in perception from the ‘norm’ forced upon you (via mental illness or other ‘natural’ state of being) makes it easier to question other norms and create your own systems